What I Wish I Had

Growing up as an African girl child is one journey. Growing up without a sister, older or younger, is another journey entirely. For a long time, I didn’t know how much that absence shaped me. I walked my path alone,  strong on some days, brave on most days, but quietly lonely on many nights. I learned early how to figure things out on my own. How to keep my questions to myself. How to pretend I had everything under control. And for a while, I thought that was enough. Until life began to ask harder questions, decisions became heavier, mistakes became costlier, and uncertainty became louder. That was when I realised what I had been missing. I had never had a big sister to hold my hands and say,

    “Here’s what I learned the hard way.” “

    Here’s what you don’t need to struggle with.” 

    “Here’s how to     walk into that room with confidence.” 

    “Here’s how to protect your heart, your dreams, and your future.”

I didn’t have someone to correct me gently, answer my questions without judgment, share her mistakes so I wouldn’t repeat them, or teach me boundaries, workplace confidence, and self-worth. So I learned by trial, error, tears, late nights of self-doubt, by silent prayers, sometimes, by heartbreak. It wasn’t until I got into university that God began to answer a prayer I didn’t even know how to pray. He surrounded me with women; some became sisters, mentors, safe spaces, and some became mirrors that showed me who I could become. Through them, I learned that sisterhood is not about blood, it is about presence, guidance and walking together.

Maybe you’re reading this and seeing yourself. Maybe you didn’t grow up with a sister. Maybe you have sisters, but still feel alone in your journey. Maybe you’re navigating career, purpose, faith, and life with more questions than answers. Maybe you’re tired of figuring everything out by yourself. If that is you, I want you to know that you don’t have to do life alone. That is why the IHA Mentorship Program 2026 exists.

It is more than a program; it is a space where young African women are guided, affirmed, challenged, and equipped. If you are an early-career woman seeking clarity, confidence, and direction, this is for you. If you are ready to unlock your potential and become the best version of yourself, this is for you. Apply to be a mentee here: https://bit.ly/IHA-MenteeApplication2026 

For the Women Ready to Become “Big Sisters”

Maybe you’re on the other side of this story, as the woman I once prayed for and the big sister someone else is longing for to be a voice of wisdom and guidance.  If you are passionate about helping young women find their feet, build confidence, and avoid unnecessary struggles, then mentorship is your calling. Join the IHA 2026 Mentors and use your experience to inspire, empower, and shape the future of young female professionals across Africa.

Apply as a mentor here: https://bit.ly/IHA-Mentor2026 

Notes From Your Big Sisters: A Gift for Your Journey

Still wishing you had someone to talk to at midnight, or reassure you when you feel stuck? That is why we created Notes From Your Big Sisters. This book is our gift to you. It is a collection of heartfelt lessons, honest reflections, practical advice, and real stories from women who have walked this path and are still walking it. This book was written with you in mind.

Download your copy here:  https://selar.com/notes_from_your_big_sisters

If you're tired of guessing your way through life and you need guidance, this is your invitation to grow, connect, and rise, whether as a mentee, mentor, or through the pages of a book. 

What do you wish you had access to as an African woman? Tell us in the comments. 

Letters to the Woman I’m Becoming: A January Reflection.

January usually arrives with a loud bang, full of public declarations and "new year, new me" energy. But for many African women, the new year begins quietly. We often step into January carrying the weight of the previous year: unfinished dreams, unspoken disappointments, and the pressure to perform.

Beneath the noise, a quiet question lingers: Who am I becoming?

In our culture, we are often taught to focus on outward achievements. But "becoming" is different. It is layered, emotional, and often happens in the dark before it is ever seen in the light. This January, instead of rushing into resolutions, we invite you to pause and tell the truth.

We asked a few women in our community to write a short line to the woman they are becoming this year. Their words were honest, tender, and deeply familiar:

“Dear me, I hope this is the year you stop apologizing for wanting more.” “I’m becoming a woman who asks questions instead of pretending I know it all.” “This year, I want to learn how to hold my ambitions without burning out.” “I’m becoming someone who chooses community instead of suffering in silence.”

These aren't just quotes; they are intentions. They represent the gap between where we are and where we want to be.

Take a moment. If you were to write a letter to the woman you are becoming, what would it say? Writing the letter is the first step; it provides clarity. But at Inspire Her Afrika, we know that clarity is only half the battle. The woman you are becoming needs more than just a wish; she needs a system of support.

Growth rarely happens in isolation. The "woman who stops apologizing" needs a tribe to cheer her on. The "woman who avoids burnout" needs a mentor to help her set boundaries. This is why mentorship is at the heart of what we do. It’s the bridge between the letter you write today and the life you live tomorrow.

Join Our Information Session

If these reflections stirred something in you, don't let the feeling fade. We invite you to take the next step toward the woman you are becoming.

We are hosting an Information Session for the Inspire Her Afrika Mentorship Program. Whether you are looking for guidance as a mentee or want to pour back as a mentor, this session will show you how our community provides the reflection, accountability, and support you need to grow.

• Register here: https://bit.ly/IHA-InformationSession

The woman you are becoming doesn’t need to have everything figured out yet. She just needs honesty and a community that refuses to let her walk alone.

Tell us in the comments: What is one sentence you would write to the woman you are becoming this year?

The IHA North Compass: So Where Are We Headed Anyways?

Every year begins with questions

Not the loud ones about goals and numbers, but the quieter ones we carry into January - Are we still building the right thing? Are we listening well enough? Are we moving with intention, or just momentum?

Over time, I have learned that every journey needs a reference point.
Not a destination, but a direction.

That is what a north compass is

If December Made You Question Yourself, Read This!

 December has a way of slowing everything down. The year begins to feel heavier. As the noise of daily routines fades, many African women are left alone with their thoughts, replaying moments, decisions, missed opportunities, and quiet wins. It often starts with a simple reflection: “This year didn’t go exactly how I planned.” I should have done more.” “I should be further by now.” “Others seem to have it all figured out.” What we don’t always admit is that December doesn’t just bring closure; it brings comparison, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome to the surface.

Many African women enter a new year with clear intentions. We plan. We pray. We commit to growth. Yet life has a way of interrupting even the best-laid plans. Some of us spent this year managing family expectations alongside personal dreams, navigating motherhood while trying not to lose ourselves, carrying responsibilities we never signed up for, or simply trying to stay afloat in a year that demanded more than we anticipated. So when December arrives, and success is loudly celebrated online, it’s easy to feel like you somehow fell short, even when you didn’t.

Imposter syndrome doesn’t always sound dramatic. Sometimes it whispers quietly, “You only made it this far because of luck.” “You don’t really deserve that opportunity.” “Next year, they’ll realize you’re not good enough.” For African women, this feeling is often intensified by cultural expectations to always “have it together.” Strength becomes a performance. Struggle becomes something to hide. But the truth is, many women who look confident are also questioning themselves behind closed doors. You are not strange for feeling this way. You are human.

Not all progress comes with certificates, promotions, or public recognition. Sometimes progress looks like choosing rest over burnout, setting boundaries with family or work, leaving environments that drained you, starting again after disappointment, or learning hard lessons that reshaped your priorities. These moments rarely make it into year-end highlights, but they matter deeply. They shape who you are becoming. And becoming is just as important as achieving.

Instead of only asking “What didn’t I achieve?” try asking: What did I learn about myself this year? What strength did I discover that I didn’t know I had? What am I grateful for, even if the year wasn’t perfect? Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard part; it helps us see that growth happened, even in quiet ways.

Looking Ahead: Creating Space for Support

As we prepare for a new year, one thing is clear: many women don’t just need motivation; they need conversation, clarity, and safe spaces to be honest. That’s why at Inspire Her Afrika, we are introducing Inspire Her Hour in the New Year, a free, one-hour mentorship consultation created for women who need guidance outside our main mentorship program.

 Our January Edition is especially for mothers. Motherhood is beautiful, but it can also be overwhelming and lonely. Many women are raising children while trying to rediscover themselves, manage guilt, and carry invisible emotional loads. Inspire Her Hour is a gentle pause; a space to talk, to be heard, and to gain clarity. We will be selecting two mothers for an intimate, one-on-one session designed to support them as they step into the New Year.

Registration is now open! Register here: https://bit.ly/IHA-InspireHour

As this year comes to a close, remember this: you may not have done everything you planned. But you did something brave, you kept going. And that counts.

We’d love to hear from you. What is one thing you are grateful for this year?

Share it with us in the comments.

 

Marvelous, for the IHA Team

Fly as High as Your Heart Desires: Lessons from Our Virtual Graduation Keynote on Purpose, Growth, and Staying Grounded.

Screens lit up across Africa, from Kenya to Nigeria, Ghana to Malawi, as mentees, mentors, and friends of Inspire Her Afrika joined the virtual graduation ceremony for the Class of 2025. Though miles apart, the connection was undeniable. Smiles, laughter, and applause filled the digital space as we celebrated young women who dared to build, women who had spent months growing through mentorship, creating impact, and redefining leadership in their communities.

Then came a moment that stilled the screen: the keynote address by Professor (Associate) Noreen Mdege, Associate Professor in Global Public Health at the University of York. Her message, titled “Fly as High as Your Heart Desires and Keep Your Feet on the Ground,” resonated deeply with every face on that virtual call.

“Every time I say the title of my talk aloud,” Professor Noreen began, “I think of my 12-year-old daughter, who would probably say, ‘Mum, how can you fly really high and keep your feet on the ground at the same time?’” That simple question opened a heartfelt reflection on what it means to pursue success with purpose. She recalled how, years ago, she had set career goals with clear milestones: Assistant Professor, Associate, Reader, then Professor, the “natural progression.” Until one day, a mentor asked her a powerful question: “Why?”

That single question shifted her perspective. It made her realize that ambition without purpose often leads to emptiness. “When a goal is from a place of service and joy,” she explained, “you have a better chance of achieving happiness. But when it’s driven by fear or ego, the satisfaction never truly comes.” Her words reminded the mentees that *flying high* isn’t just about professional success, it’s about staying true to one’s values, finding meaning in the journey, and building a life that brings fulfilment.

Then came the second half of her message, the gentle grounding reminder. “For me,” she said, “keeping your feet on the ground is about stability, resilience, and agility. It’s about being able to deal with uncertainty and pivot without destroying the good you’ve already built.” She spoke about humility, kindness, and mindfulness, the ability to live in the present moment, and to be curious about the world around us. “When you are living in the present moment,” she shared, “you don’t have to look for opportunities. Opportunities find you, because you are exactly where you should be.”

Across the virtual call, you could see nods of agreement and smiles of recognition. Many of our mentees had walked that same balance, learning to lead with strength while staying grounded in service and empathy. Their projects had touched lives in education, health, and empowerment, each one a testament to what it means to fly high and stay rooted.

As she closed, Professor Noreen left us with a thought that summed up the spirit of the day: “I hope I did not disappoint anyone by not saying what success is or isn’t, because I truly believe that success is what it means to you. To me, it means flying as high as my heart desires and keeping my feet on the ground.” It was a message that lingered long after the virtual screens went dark. Success, she reminded us, is deeply personal. It is not just in titles or milestones, it’s in the courage to stay true to yourself, the grace to keep moving forward, and the wisdom to build a life that reflects what you truly value.

To every young woman reading this: You too can fly as high as your heart desires. You can dream boldly, rise confidently, and still stay grounded in kindness, humility, and purpose. At Inspire Her Afrika, we are proud to journey with women who are redefining success, women who know that real growth happens when we soar with purpose and stay rooted in what matters most. Share this with a young woman who’s ready to spread her wings, because this could be her in 2026.

Couldn’t join the live graduation? You can rewatch the full Inspire Her Afrika Graduation Ceremony and experience every inspiring moment, from the mentees’ project showcases to Professor Noreen Mdege’s keynote speech.

Click here to rewatch the ceremony: https://youtu.be/BWzRkO-Dt64?si=X-AMWB8ASB7-otvo

She Didn't Wait for Change, She Became It.

She stood before a room full of judges, her voice steady but passionate. In just five minutes, she spoke of a dream to help young girls embrace technology and learn AI. Her name is Bonny Joy Kaburuk, and her project, She Learns AI, isn’t just an idea; it’s a movement to prepare girls for the future. Across Africa, young women like Bonny are stepping out, not waiting for change, but leading it. This year’s International Day of the Girl Child, themed “The Girl I Am, The Change I Lead,” is more than a celebration; it’s a reminder of the quiet power within every girl, the power to dream, create, and transform her world. 

Every movement starts from a seed. Sometimes that seed is a story, an experience, or a deep desire to solve a problem close to the heart. For Bonny, it was seeing how few girls had access to digital skills or even believed they could be innovators. For Ibukunoluwa Okunoye, it was the realization that stories shape identity and values in children, birthing StorySeeds Initiative, which uses storytelling to teach character and culture. For Maryam Missa, it was the urgency to preserve local wisdom and sustainability practices through Sustainalens, a digital platform amplifying indigenous environmental stories from African communities.

But Bonny, Ibukunoluwa, and Maryam are not alone. This year’s PitchFest stage was filled with young women who had turned personal experiences into purpose. Faith Anyaole Bogoro grew up witnessing the unique challenges faced by girls in military barracks, which inspired her to launch Barracks Girl Rising, a mentorship project that helps girls dream beyond their surroundings. Happiness Sani, through her initiative Light Up, is teaching girls soft skills and financial literacy, showing them that empowerment begins with knowledge and confidence. Naemot Animasahun is doing the same for teenagers, helping them understand money early through her project, Financial Literacy for Teenagers.

In Kenya, Loreen Mayabi is equipping girls with the courage to speak up through Know Your Rights, a legal awareness initiative giving young women the tools to understand and defend their rights. Victoria Ogbeide is tackling a growing concern in the digital age with Cybersecurity Awareness for Financial Safety, ensuring that women stay safe and informed online. Some girls are bridging even larger gaps, like Telma Alexandre from Angola, whose project AI TalkEasy uses artificial intelligence to make English learning more accessible for non-native speakers. Or Sophia Oine from Uganda, who is championing girls in STEM through STEM for Her, a program designed to inspire more girls to explore science and technology.

And then there’s Gloria Ofurum, helping young people unlock digital opportunities through Glokopact, where she teaches how to earn a legitimate income using smartphones. Finally, Marygeorgeen Simiyu from Kenya reminds us through her project Beyond the Pitch that transformation doesn’t end with presenting an idea; it continues in the consistent work of building and growing that idea into impact. These young women represent thirteen unique stories, yet they share one truth: before a girl leads change, she first learns to believe in who she is. Through mentorship, we’ve seen this transformation unfold quietly, steadily, and powerfully. She starts by asking questions, finding her voice, and daring to pitch ideas that once felt too big.

At Inspire Her Afrika, we’ve watched mentees step into confidence, collaboration, and community. We believe every girl carries a seed of change; she only needs a little nurturing to bloom. And this September, at our annual PitchFest 2025, that belief came alive again. One by one, mentees stood before a panel of judges, not just to compete, but to declare vision. Each story, each pitch, and each dream became a testament that African girls are not just dreamers; they are builders, thinkers, and change-makers. But change doesn’t always begin with big titles or loud applause. Sometimes, it begins with a quiet conviction, a girl sketching ideas in her notebook, a student using her voice to raise awareness in her school, a young woman saying, “If no one will build it, I will.” These are the unseen beginnings of movements that shape nations.

As we celebrate this year’s International Day of the Girl Child, we honor every young woman rewriting the story of leadership in Africa, one dream, one idea, and one act of courage at a time. We celebrate the girl who is still finding her path, the one who is afraid but willing, and the one who has taken her first bold step toward change. The girl child is not the leader of tomorrow; she is the change of today. And when we choose to mentor her, support her, and amplify her voice, we invest in a future that is brighter, fairer, and more inclusive.

Join us to celebrate these incredible changemakers at the  Inspire Her Afrika Graduation Ceremony. 

Theme: Celebrating Women Who Dare to Build

Date: November 1st, 2025

Time: 12:00 PM WAT

Venue: Zoom

Register for the graduation here: https://bit.ly/IHAGraduation   

Because when one girl rises, she doesn’t rise alone; she lifts a generation with her. 

Written By
Marvelous Adekanmi

The Silent Pressure to Be More.

Have you ever felt like your achievements have an expiry date?  Have you ever noticed how quickly the feeling of achievement fades? You finally hit a milestone you’ve prayed and worked so hard for, but before you can even celebrate, your mind whispers: “What next?”

 You graduate from school, and before the ink on your certificate dries, the question comes: “So, what next?” You land a new job, and almost immediately, there’s the expectation: “When are you moving to a better role?” You start a small business, and not long after, the comparison begins: “This other person already has a bigger brand, why don’t you?” It’s a cycle many of us know too well. The degree isn’t enough; there’s another certification to chase. The job isn’t enough; you need a promotion. The recognition isn’t enough; you have to prove yourself again. Even in personal life, the same script plays out in relationships, finances, and lifestyle; there’s always an invisible bar rising just when you thought you had reached it.

 For many African women, this quiet, unspoken pressure is a constant shadow. It rarely announces itself, but it shows up in conversations with family, in the endless scroll of social media, and even in the way we measure ourselves against invisible standards. We live in a world that applauds speed and rewards visibility. Everyone seems to be achieving something spectacular, and the temptation is to believe that you’re running late, late in your career, late in love, late in finances, late in life.

The danger? We begin to see our current best as inadequate. Instead of celebrating progress, we minimize it. Instead of honoring our pace, we punish ourselves for not moving faster.

But here’s the truth many of us forget: thriving is not always about being more; sometimes it’s about being enough.

Being enough looks like:

• Finishing your undergraduate degree and taking time to breathe before jumping into the next big thing. 
• Running a small business faithfully, even if it hasn’t yet scaled into a multinational brand.
• Choosing rest over constant hustle because you know burnout won’t get you closer to your dreams.
• Valuing your quiet growth seasons, even when nobody is applauding.

This doesn’t mean we abandon ambition. It means we recognize that contentment is not the enemy of growth; it is the soil where true growth happens. When we are content, we can dream bigger without fear. We can take steps forward without being crippled by comparison. We can embrace our journey without hating the pace. Contentment does not cancel ambition. Instead, it grounds it. It allows us to dream, grow, and achieve without losing ourselves to the endless race of comparison. This month, our encouragement is simple: be present with your progress. Let contentment and ambition walk side by side, and remind yourself daily that your pace is enough, and so are you.

Here’s an invitation to pause, breathe, and reflect on where you are, and to honor it. Yes, there’s still more ahead, but your present is just as valuable as the future you’re working toward.

In this month’s episode of the IHA Podcast. Our host, Marvelous, sits with the inspiring Similoluwa Awe, lawyer, author, activist, and founder of TeensxTeenties. Together, they unpack the quiet weight young women often carry the pressure to constantly measure up, to do more, to be more. Similoluwa shares honest insights about finding balance, protecting your peace, and thriving without letting pressure define you.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here:

💬We’d love to hear from you: How do you deal with the pressure to always be more? Share your thoughts in the comments; your words might be the encouragement another young woman needs today.

From,

Marvelous for the IHA Team